To Who I Am Becoming...

The clock flashed 12:00. It had been flashing like that for a few days and She hadn’t set it. It was easier to believe that time had no impact on her life when the clock flashed. As soon as those sinister glowing numbers stopped it was like their bright luminescence focused to burn away all possibility and fantasy. That light would wake her up to reality of what her life had become. As far as lives went, hers was not a terrible one. She was loved by family and friends. She had people who depended on her and thought her wonderful. She was involved in lots of activities and projects. She cared about a lot of people. None of that was why she had chosen to stay in this space where time had no meaning. She knew that she shouldn’t feel as though she was an extra in her own life movie, but she did. She had allowed her life to become like the doilies that grandmothers put on every surface, unnecessary when it came right down to it. People would be able to survive without her, and she c

It had been almost a year. The time had passed slowly and far to fast at the same time. She had thought she had done a good job of controlling her thoughts and covering the hole in her heart but as she sat on yet another bus traveling to her new home she was becoming aware how poorly she had done. The air was thick with the smell of past travelers coming and going from their lives and the activities that they engaged in the middle. The seats had the indentations of those with questionable hygiene practices. The windows didn't show much, not because of the late hour of the night, but because the remnants of traveled road were splattered across the edifice. She didn’t notice any of this. She barely noticed the violent starts and stops of the bus. In the last year since she had lost her light she had worked hard to believe that it hadn’t mattered very much. She was over it. It no longer mattered. She was better off. She had heard characters on television recite these same lies