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Darkness on the edge of light

She stood in the middle of the room. Her eyes closed so tight that they started to hurt. She knew that the light was on, that there was nothing in the darkness behind her eyes waiting to jump at her, and that good people existed all around her. She opened her eyes hopping to have the light dispel the darkness but somehow it stayed with her like an evil babysitter, watching, waiting, and needing to nothing more than to just be there to smile and remind that it was there.

"Isn't this party so much fun!?" For the third time her friend Andy had said this.

She smiled with mild enthusiasum and went to get some water. She wondered why she could not get into the fun of the party? She liked these people. She was healthy, for the most part. She had cool toys to entertain her. She was studying interesting things in University. She was important to so many people around her. They would come up to her and see her smile and listen to her stories and laugh and never knew about her constant babysitter. They never knew about how she would sit in the middle of her room and want so badly to run away into the beautiful stillness of the woods but could not seem to ever move even one finger to go. She knew that she was able to go off when ever she felt like it. She was no prisoner or slave or even in a full time job and still her babysitter stayed close and hugged her and whispered for her to "stay". She wanted to open her mouth and shout the darkness away but the babysitter would gently press a finger to her lips when they would start to open and remind her that no one liked someone who yelled.

So she stayed silent and smiling. The only thing that made her happy was to watch for other babysitters of darkness who would try and whisper to the others around her. She would find them and work hard destroy them. A few times she was able to do this and then the darkness would be replaced with a beam of light that no darkness would dare come near for fear of destruction. And still hers stayed. How it could survive was a mystery to her.

After many years of this she had gotten so used to the babysitter that she hardly noticed hers anymore until a light showed it for what it was. She looked around to see where the light had come from. She wanted who ever had the light to come back and destroy the darkness once and for all. The light faded and the babysitter came back but she was stronger now. She knew that she couldn't destroy the darkness by herself but she knew that someone had a light powerful enough to destroy it and that gave her strength.

She searched for that one with the power to shine light, and searches still. Every now and then she finds someone with a powerful light, or she sees the light she is looking for in a reflection but cannot yet find the one who hold the light. Every day she fights and searches. Every day she knows that it is out there and that she will be happy when she finds it. Until then she smiles and laughs and goes on with her life.

Only now she carries hope...

Comments

Deneille said…
Did you write this? You are such an eloquent writer! Love it
Spoffin' said…
I am always captivated by your writing. I'm not sure if this is the first part but I want to read more.

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