Skip to main content

Who Are We When We Grow Up?

Yesterday I watched two little girls play. They were going on a plane, vacationing, to the Miss Universe Planet. They packed what they needed and another two kids were the flight crew and pilot. They were not playing together but their games happened to connect. I began to wonder, why are they playing this game? Is it that this is what they view adult life to be? Is this what their parents talk about?

I wondered about my own playing and so I called my mom.
"What games did I play?"
"What do you mean? We were never a big game family."
I tell her about the children I watched and my wonders about my own life.
"When you were that age we lived by the Koreans. You would play guns with them. I remember one day you came running in yelling that the boys were chasing you with guns. I came out; I thought they were going to hit you. You looked at me and said "They have guns! Isn't that great?!" You loved their little AK-47s".

My mom tells me about my friends and how I never cared to play with balls. I didn't like "games" but I was always playing. I had lots, LOTS, of dress ups and would play scenes from my favourite movies. I would make things into cars and boats and my friends and I would go to the store or to exotic places. We turned my loft bed into a castle or a mountain. We would have tea parties and special occasions but, I never played MOM. I never said "Now I am the mom and you are the baby".

My friend Emily and I would dress up, often in our witch costumes, and sit in a corner and read to each other. We would run wild and that running and yelling would be our play. No rules and little concern for our own mortality gave fuel for our ever expanding imaginations.

In lots of ways I am the same. I love playing dress up. I have lots of jewellery. I may or may not be buying a feather boa for myself. I often wish that I could sing with abandon, at the top of my lungs without worry of decorum or image (It is why I love the long car rides home by myself. I can sing what I want when I want and preform car dancing.). I still don't like games very often. When people get together to play card games or board games I begin to wish I were ill to get out of it. But, I still love talking and imagining as if my imagining it will make it reality, even for just the moments that I am imaging it. I still ask myself, who am I now that I am grown up? I am not sure but perhaps I will find out if I do a little more playing, and singing, and dressing up.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Insanity

So this was a big week. For the first time in a long time I have felt the overwhelming need to cry. As always I am unaware of the way that people can see what is going on with me even when I think that I doing a good job of hiding it from everyone. I am an RA (Resident Advisor) at Dixie. This week I was given the task to work with another RA to make flyer's for a sports activity that was coming up. Usually I am the one who makes sure that everything that needs to go on the fl yer is on and is correct. The other RA usually does all the "Flash". Well this week I had over 28 hours of work to do. Because of all of the homework that I had to do I did not check the fl yer that had been done and let the other RA do what ever he wanted and trusted that the information would be correct. A few days later it was the day before all of my assignments were due and I was freaking out. I also had to go to my RA meeting. At these meeting my RM (Resident Manager) has personal meetings with

A Text

Ok so I have to say that nothing happened and I only put this up because it was just such an interesting conversation to have so laugh. whats up? When are we going to make out? 10:59 pm elaisa are you there? 11:31 pm driving to where? 1:19 am so where are you now? 1:24 am doing what? 1:26 am but what are you doing in idaho? 1:28 am when are you coming back? 1:30 am are you going to stgeorge or orem? 1:33 am when are you coming for break? 1:35am so youre not coming back until december? 1:39 am so when are we going to make out? 1:41 am ok called me saturday when you get here so we can make out while watching a scary movie in my room just like we did at the cayonlands! (we never made out) 1:47 am Are we satching a movie tomorrow and make out? 11:08 pm yea lets watch a movie! i know we never made out, but lets make out this time! We almost did it at the cayonlands, so lets just do it this time! 6:52 am everybody makes out even hard core mormons. Plus its cold so we need to cuddle and watc

A Day Out