Skip to main content

IDK?

Truth be told, I’m not sure why I am writing this morning. Perhaps it is because I feel like I should be writing more often. I don’t know. As I write it seems that my fingers are no longer used to typing out words. Nearly every other word, it seems, needs to be back traces or re-written. It seems that my thoughts no longer know the path from the brain to the fingers the way that they once did. I wrote such wonderful things. Such amazing, beautiful, magnificent things. But now it seems that I can only write about how I no longer write.

I keep looking online for things to improve my life. I watch shows and wish I were the people who did amazing things. I am looking and looking but not finding. What is it about me that cannot be the person I see when I close my eyes? Why can I not WRITE!!??


I think for the next little while I will make a promise to myself. Every morning, before I start work, I will write something. It will not be elegant or eloquent. It may not even be coherent, but they will be words on a page. Perhaps those words will grow and change and become something that can sustain me when times are hard and the cold winter winds of indecision blow. I do hope so. I hope that, in time, they will not just help me but help others who are suffering their own storms and tempests. But, I get ahead of myself. For now, I only write words. And, the only word that matters now is …WRITE!!!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Insanity

So this was a big week. For the first time in a long time I have felt the overwhelming need to cry. As always I am unaware of the way that people can see what is going on with me even when I think that I doing a good job of hiding it from everyone. I am an RA (Resident Advisor) at Dixie. This week I was given the task to work with another RA to make flyer's for a sports activity that was coming up. Usually I am the one who makes sure that everything that needs to go on the fl yer is on and is correct. The other RA usually does all the "Flash". Well this week I had over 28 hours of work to do. Because of all of the homework that I had to do I did not check the fl yer that had been done and let the other RA do what ever he wanted and trusted that the information would be correct. A few days later it was the day before all of my assignments were due and I was freaking out. I also had to go to my RA meeting. At these meeting my RM (Resident Manager) has personal meetings with...

A Text

Ok so I have to say that nothing happened and I only put this up because it was just such an interesting conversation to have so laugh. whats up? When are we going to make out? 10:59 pm elaisa are you there? 11:31 pm driving to where? 1:19 am so where are you now? 1:24 am doing what? 1:26 am but what are you doing in idaho? 1:28 am when are you coming back? 1:30 am are you going to stgeorge or orem? 1:33 am when are you coming for break? 1:35am so youre not coming back until december? 1:39 am so when are we going to make out? 1:41 am ok called me saturday when you get here so we can make out while watching a scary movie in my room just like we did at the cayonlands! (we never made out) 1:47 am Are we satching a movie tomorrow and make out? 11:08 pm yea lets watch a movie! i know we never made out, but lets make out this time! We almost did it at the cayonlands, so lets just do it this time! 6:52 am everybody makes out even hard core mormons. Plus its cold so we need to cuddle and watc...

INDIA

Ok so I know I have been neglectful . Things have gotten better for me since I made some decisions about what I was going to do with my life. I will get into those later because my life is so different then it was just two months ago. Just so no one will call me hyperventilating, NO i'm not engaged, NO I did not get a teaching job, and NO I did not decide to become part of the Radha Krishna religion! One of my friends came up and we went to this Inda Fest which was so much fun! The temple that it was at was so beautiful I didn't know anything like that was in the whole of Utah . While we were there we bouhgt the traditional outfit. (I will not try to spell it because it sounds like sorry ) Part of the experiance was the food which was a Delicious hot multi- course meals of Indian curry with home made cheese ( paneer ), blueberry hallava, spicy Bengali rice, and giant lentil chips ( papadams ) and there were Indian drinks such as Peach lassi, and Nimbu pani, as well a...